This a six months old post from a blog that I wanted to continue but failed to do so. 🙂 Since I am freshly starting again in this blog, I want to move two posts from that. One will follow right next to this.
Since I moved to Denmark, just like any other expats living in Denmark, I have been struggling to make Danish friends here and ending up with very limited numbers of expat friends who sometimes leave the country in no time.
There are many reasons why people start dating or looking for someone to be together with, and for me, it was that I was lonely and tired of being single. If I find someone, that one can also be my friend.
As a woman from Korea in her early/mid-thirties, it was quite difficult to find Korean here and I am not so close-minded to mind someone from different cultures or countries. I don’t mind an interracial relationship. A next step naturally becomes finding non-Korean guys in storkøbenhavn, a.k.a. Greater Copenhagen.
I started from expat groups. Why expat groups? Since I didn’t have any idea how to start dating with Danes!
Danish people are referred weird sometimes to non-Danish expats. Weird is not necessarily bad. Though there are tons of people loving Denmark and living here, there are other fair share of expats struggling to keep up their life here, especially with making local friends. Danes, as they also agree, are like coconuts. They have a very hard shell around them which is so hard to break in, but once you reach the inside, they have such a soft core, which is basically liquid! (My sort-of-ex-bf, who hated being Danish and wanted to remain as a global or an international citizen, once said, “Are we as shallow as coconut you mean?” HAHAHA. No.) Anyway the point was that they are covered with the hard shells and I didn’t know where to meet them also!
As I mentioned above, I once had a sort-of-bf before who hated Denmark and wanted to leave the country ASAP. (He used to live in the US and somehow was temporarily living here.) I said “HAD”, meaning it went bad.
Ah… No more expat bf, or sort-of-bf(that was even worse, he was not even a real boyfriend but a maybe boyfriend, kept me being temporary due to his life problems. To be fair, he was not a bad person, was just not in the right phase in his life to meet someone and I met him during that time.) was my decision after the breakup with him because I wanted to know more about Denmark instead of sharing funny or weird knowledge about Denmark or Danes while I’m living in this lovely country. This country must have something good to offer which I haven’t noticed or are hidden from expats’ eyes.
Then how could I meet Danes? Colleagues told me that I can meet people in private parties organized by Danes. Many expat blogs or articles said that Danes start their relationships from one-night-stand and they decide to continue it or not in the coming morning after that. However my colleagues said that it’s not so classy and that’s not the way they start relationship, saying that one-night stand ends up being one-night-stand in most of the cases from their experiences. I am not saying those blogs or articles are wrong, but this story was from Danes and it was different! I never had any one-night-stand before and didn’t want to try because it could be dangerous if unlucky. I am very risk-averse, which means that’s not my option.
OK. No one-night-stand for me! (Thank goodness, I don’t drink much and I am too old for clubbing, and did clubbing only twice during my entire life, not my thing.) But where are those private parties? Sadly, colleagues said they didn’t have many single friends left and those left were not my match. Sad!
Then what? Elite Daters followed. It’s an online dating site for Danes and Swedes or people living in those two countries and people should have college degrees or higher to join the site. Colleagues’ recommendation! People mostly write in Danish, but lucky me, Google translate works pretty well with Danish-English translation and I rarely get people wrong from that, though get a bit puzzled sometimes. Anyway, with great helps from Google translate, I could start some conversations with Danes. (This site wouldn’t work in the same concept if it were in Korea, people would cheat a lot their educations or careers. They don’t in Denmark. So relatively things are credible here. And people who want to hook-up only would go for other sites requiring less information and without a screening process.)
I now have a Danish boyfriend, who is incredibly sweet(sweetest in my whole life), caring, artistic, hard-working, maintaining oneself very well, keeping house clean, intelligent, humorous, calm, relaxed, down-to-earth, humble, tall, lean, no-smoking, not-drinking-heavily. He was shy in the beginning for the initial two dates and I thought he was not interested in me at all. It was exactly like what expat bloggers were writing about. Shy Danes, and he admitted that he was a little shy. For me, he may be a Mr. Right and I hope that I could be his Miss right, as he said it feels right with me.
I have been lost in Denmark so far, and I hope this dating with Danish boyfriend lead me from being lost to understanding a lot about Denmark territory gradually. And that’s why I started this blog with this post.
Wish me good luck.